articles

Antimatter

By Sean Bonney, 12 June 2019
1
 
When you were scratching your name into the mirror another few hundred people died. I guess they exist outside the borderline of what you call ‘kindness’. Kindness which in your mouth has the consistency of raw sewage. When you laugh it sounds like boiling lice.
 
 
2
 
Antonin Artaud was buried alive and while he was rotting he knew what he was doing. Large worms ate into his body. Then came the small worms. Then that species of aroma that has no scent, no history or country or body. Those souls that fascists call refugees or deportees if they give them a name at all.
 
But wait, we are no longer allowed to use that word fascist.
It is impolite, we are told, to call them that.
And so the silence that used to get called a city gets filled with noises.
Larval screeches that sound like they are alive.
 
        number 9 said to number 4
        we're not living now and we weren’t before
 
 
3
 
Sophie Scholl never died
Not in 1944 not 2014
      not in the years too old or new to be named
 
She paces the major cities
Hands out dry white roses
 
Take one. They are good luck.
Take one. She is lonely.
 
Just don’t ask about the hole in the back of her head.
Only idiots would do that.
Idiots and laughing fascists.
 
When she died she was in great pain.
 
 
5
 
It is ice cold in this room
Where the fascists are breathing
 
No-one has told them
They have been dead
Since the birth of all planets
 
That Saturn ate his children
 
        
        for tranquil and safe are the arms of the cruel
        and tranquil and safe is  the mind of the fool
        those minds that hate and those minds that sleep
        and those minds that kill and those that weep
 
 
 
6
 
be kind
       but do not be kind to me
 
be clean
       but do not be clean near me
 
 
call it cleanliness call it kindness
 
do not call it kindness to me
 
your nobility your spirit
keep it far from me
 
 
7
 
In this place there are no cities or noises
 
Once a year there is a parade.
It is compulsory for the dead to attend.
 
In this place we call living
Long past the end of our life
 
        for we’ve been dead before and we’ll be dead again
        we were dead just now but we ain’t no more
 
And then there are those who cannot move without shitting bone, standing in the freezing back rooms, breathing inside other people’s deaths. 
 
You can see them in old photographs, as if birds had scratched them, and those scratches are what fascists call history and hammered nails and human hunger and other words they use to express pleasure. The night of the earthquake. The 300 houses destroyed. The mouths scratched to pieces. 
 
 
        and so says the master and so says the slave
        who is cooking your dinner and digging your grave