Jonathan Hoag Presents: Tales of the Interconnected

By Jonathan Hoag, 21 January 2004

Speaking of the alienSummary Notes:

SINCE WE ARE INCREASINGLY ENTERTAINED and PERPLEXED by the procession of POLYMORPHOUS DIRIGIBLES, most often FAG SHAPED or SAUCEROUS, which have plagued the world's skies since TIME IMMEMORIAL, so Dr. Jonathan Hoag, having FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE of such AIRBORNE APPARITIONS, wishes to put forth CERTAIN DIVERSE THEORIES for the existence of these and other ANOMALOUS OCCURRENCES, in order to DISPEL any CONFUSIONS arising out of said circumstances; and these shall be called the TALES of the INTERCONNECTED. No. 1, Blot on the Landscape

With regards to the reported manifestation of a CERTAIN MARTIAN GENTLEMAN in the USA home of Mr. Thomas Blot in 1891, let us note that this ALIEN INTERVENTION comes hard on the heels of that country's 1890 census committee report, which declared the US frontier officially BANKRUPT. In further noting that Mr. Blot's meeting presaged a series of such REPORTS, does not this lead us towards a certain way of thinking, namely that such EXPATIATIONS on the ALIEN may, gesturing as they do the existence of territories NOVEL & UNEXPLOITED (though indeed occupied, like our American Frontier, by a STRANGE OTHER RACE) act as a PALLIATIVE to the frustrated and so-called CLOSED-WORLD situation of MODERN AMERICA? But let us not stop there. For does not the report of this Mr. Blot also & furthermore represent a timely INTERCESSION in the OFFICIAL STORIES which, as CERTAIN CONTINENTAL PHILOSOPHERS and THEORY-MAKERS have argued, set out the MACHINATIONS of THE REAL?

In later articles, the good grace of the Mute publishers notwithstanding, we may call upon reports of such exceeding strange and extreme circumstances as those of ALIEN IMPLANT & ABDUCTION, the alleged MUTILATION of certain LIVESTOCKS and the notion of an EXTRATERRESTRIAL MESSIAH to support this Theory of Intercession. But firstly, and to conclude the present introductory article, we shall advance some seventy-odd years and draw attention to the landing of the APOLLO 11 SPACE CRAFT on the moon, and to a certain CONSPIRACY THEORY which advances the existence of an EXTRATERRESTRIAL WELCOMING COMMITTEE witnessed at first hand by Mr. Armstrong and Mr. Aldrin. The following TRANSCRIPT, kindly provided by Mr. Otto Binder of NASA, purports to represent the TRUE & REAL conversation between Ground Control and those Various Astronauts censored by the American Government and NASA:

NASA: What's there? Mission Control calling Apollo 11...

Apollo11: These babies are huge, Sir! Enormous! OH MY GOD! You wouldn't believe it! I'm telling you there are other spacecraft out there. Lined up on the far side of the crater edge! They're on the Moon watching us!

Aware that readers will surely want to Refer to the original Sources in order to research further These and Other Tales, I now offer occasional URLs of Mr. Binder &c.'s Famous though Fabulous assertions, such as [] and []. All Queries and further Tales are accepted Gratefully by myself at my Electric Homestead: Until next time, I am, Sirs, yours assuredly

Dr. J. Hoag, Esq.