All The World's Beverly Hills 90210

By Francesca da Rimini (aka Gashgirl), 10 April 2001

Its shiny, happy faces have been relegated to cheap slots and re-runs on digital TV, but Aaron Spelling’s cult teen soap Beverley Hills 90210 knew better days. So popular was it that even those inured to its soft-focus version of the-meaning-of-life started seeing a certain kind of truth in it. One of those was cyberfeminist Francesca da Rimini (aka Gashgirl) whose online exchange shows the unique interpretative power of her ‘90210’ Pin CodeRemembering lickedy-slit edges and ragamuffin days... Most of the early 1990s I spent online at LambdaMOO. As GashGirl/Puppet Mistress/Brenda_Walsh my days were crammed with sex and sudden death, and I was inured to my RL resident B-boy’s daily taunts of “Get a life, loser!” With the slimy sluts of VNS Matrix and some alt.fratboys, a cruel playpen remix of the teen soap Beverly Hills 90210 was created.

Mutating through the drift-zones populated by the terminally spoilt, post-codal, perpetual adolescents were fragments of text liberated from US military sites, government think tanks and Indigenous resistance. In ‘94 such spectral manifestations of Power provided a de-coherent mirror to the networked alpha-numeric futures of J18, S26, M1 where the ghosts of the walking dead from around the world would join together to spit in the bloated faces of the blue-eyed sons of star wars.

Is there any significant difference between Dylan_McKay and GW_Bush or are they, along with designer toad Tori, more bastard spawn of Aaron Spelling?

@go 90210look Brenda_WalshBad Girl Shannen Doherty gives in to the psychic nausea caused by the insidious family values of the squeaky clean Walsh family. Inspired by her beloved Marquis de Sade, she embarks on a new career as crack dealer, snuff filmmaker and porn queen.

o what a perfect day, i want to spend it on glue

Brenda_Walsh says, L’amor is a hard blade that cuts heaven open. Some nights I feel that I have fucked every orifice on every soul on this desolate planet of dreams. All history is pornography and all women are ghosts and should rightly be feared. // Kelly_Taylor says, we must be instantly aware, globally dominant, selectively lethal, virtually present. // Dylan_McKay says, I’m horny. // look Steve_Sanders

Steve has had a severe decline in personal morale since his Mummy died (she gave him the only realwoman love he has ever known). His crystal meth habit (he’s David’s dealer) and penchant for deviance have left him jaded...

chemical pale sleep, dreamstained sheetsno centre, ragged edgeszeroing tolerancegene raiding hyperdecayfox bites tailinvisible artillery follows nurse with woundendlessly uncoiling a spectacle of irretrievable situations

Dylan_McKay [to Brenda_Walsh]: are you hot for me tonight baby? // Brenda_Walsh says, there’s not a moment goes by when I don’t crave your drug-fucked personality.

he is her G8, her dumb geniusflight capital exponentially decreasing with each birthday

Kelly_Taylor says, control requires robust negation systems

come, she said come be my killer applicationcome be my next five minutes

Kelly_Taylor says, war is the continuation of politics by other means // Kelly_Taylor says, the art today is to attack everything one encounters // Brenda_Walsh pounds Dylan_McKay’s beauteous ass mercilessly. // Steve_Sanders [to Brenda_Walsh]: Hey, what’s going on, babe...c’mon, Uncle Steve needs some attention... Look, I know that I’m not the frat man I once was but really, Dylan? That corpse?Dylan_McKay nearly drowns in the hot tub but his ego keeps him afloat. // Brenda_Walsh [to Steve_Sanders]: We are monstrous, multiple and we’re worried for your safety. BTW, you’ve had a bit of a penchant for Dylan yourself from time to time. // Dylan_McKay [to Steve_Sanders]: how about it, Steve? I know you’ve always fancied me.

generals suck each other’s oily stripes as snow caravans crawl the trail of tears ring a ring a rosies, pocket full o stealfies bend over banker, lights go off all fall down!

Brenda_Walsh [to Dylan_McKay]: I’m still ravenous. // Dylan_McKay [to Brenda_Walsh]: suck on this baby!” // Dylan_McKay opens his pants for Brenda to have a good grab. // Dylan_McKay says, “god damm - I’ve premature ejaculated again :( too much go again

21 and his uranium all depletedah, hispania

Steve_Sanders [to Brenda_Walsh]: okay babe, you’ve tried the rest, now get the Jim Walsh best...

coma life trawls drearily towards the inevitableas summer drops like acid into global spring

intolerable signs—ruined, all ruinedcan’t believe—this trash life.